


Dante's Return

by shinigami117



Category: Devil May Cry
Genre: Canon Rewrite, Gen, Humor, Post-Devil May Cry 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-05
Updated: 2020-01-05
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:06:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22125310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinigami117/pseuds/shinigami117
Summary: What ever happened to Dante? Did he escape hell? Find out the answers here.
Kudos: 6





	Dante's Return

**Author's Note:**

> I originally posted this fic on fanfiction.net.

Lucia was sitting by herself in the Devil May Cry when she heard the sound of a motorcycle parking outside the shop. She quickly stood up and ran outside to see who it was. _Please be Dante!_ She thought. As she exited the shop, she saw that the person sitting on the motorcycle was a woman with long blond hair. "Oh... you're not Dante..." she said sadly.

"Who are you?" Trish asked as she got off her motorcycle.

"I'm Lucia. Are you a customer?"

"No. I am here to see Dante though," Trish said.

"Oh... well, I'm sorry but he's not available."

"What do you mean? He didn't run away to escape paying his debt to me did he!?" Trish growled.

"No! Nothing like that..." Lucia said. She then explained everything that had happened.

"He's trapped in hell?" Trish asked.

"Yes, it's terrible. I should have been the one to go in there!" Lucia sobbed. Trish, however, didn't look concerned. In fact, she was laughing. "What's wrong with you? This isn't funny!" Lucia exclaimed.

"Do you seriously think he'll be trapped forever? Just look at all the pathetic demons running around. If they can find a way out, I'm sure he can."

"I still don't see what's so funny. He could be hurt, or killed!" Lucia said.

Trish chuckled. "If you're gonna feel sorry for someone, do so for the demons. They're the ones who are gonna be in trouble," she  
said with a grin.

"I know he's a talented demon hunter, but hell is the demons' home. He'll be horribly outnumbered and who knows what terrible monsters live  
there!" Lucia argued.

"He can handle it, the demons will wish they had never been born!" Trish said cheerfully.

"I don't know..." Lucia looked doubtful.

"Trust me, he'll be having the time of his life getting to fight so many demons," Trish said with a smile. Then her pleasant smile turned to an evil grin. "Well, let me take that back. He'll be in utter misery once he realizes something," she said.

"What is it?" Lucia asked with a worried frown.

"Hell doesn't have pizza!"

* * *

**Meanwhile, In Hell...**

* * *

"This is great! I get to kill all the demons I want to with no strings attached!" Dante said cheerfully. "No protect missions, no saving the world, no debts to pay, no pizza... I could live like this for-" Dante stopped as an expression of horror spread across his face. "No pizza or strawberry sundaes! This is terrible, I can't live without them! I've got to get out of here!" he whined. At that moment a large group of demons popped out of nowhere."This is all your fault! If you would leave the human world alone, I wouldn't be in this mess! I would still have pizza!" he yelled in rage. He rushed at the demons and killed them all in painful, gruesome ways.

* * *

**3 Years Later**

* * *

A council of ancient and powerful demons sat around a table. They wore expressions of anger, fear, or worry. "We have to stop this. Almost half of hell's population has been eradicated!" one demon said angrily.

"I don't see what we can do. We already sent Nerolith and his brother, Nefzen, after him. They were some of the most powerful demons here, besides myself, and they were torn apart by Dante! Some demons claimed to hear him say, 'Hmmm, this tastes kinda funny, but it's still some good pizza!' while covered in their blood and devouring them!" another demon exclaimed. The others flinched and gave looks of disgust and horror at the memory.

"I know, Nericros, but we have to keep trying," the other demon said.

"I just don't know what to do. Perhaps if we could lure him into a trap somehow..." Nericros said.

"I have an idea. Let us send a lesser demon to the human world and tell it to retrieve some pizza. Dante will almost certainly come after it!" another demon said.

"A wonderful plan, Aseph! It will surely succeed!" Nericros exclaimed.

* * *

**Several Days Later**

* * *

Dante wondered through hell with a psychotic expression on his face. He was completely drenched in the blood of demons. After three years without pizza, he had snapped. He had started eating demons, deciding they were a good enough substitute for pizza. He gazed around hungrily, trying to spot a demon. That's when he saw it, right there, on the ground, was a box of pizza! He rushed forward but then stopped. _Last time I thought I saw a pizza it turned out to be a round lava rock. It took_ _days before my teeth came back and my burns healed..._ he thought warily. He stared at it for a bit, before deciding he would simply nibble on it to test it out. He ran over to it and picked it up. He then tentatively nibbled on the edged. "It is pizza!" he shouted in joy. He almost swallowed it whole. He stood triumphantly over the empty pizza box. After a few few seconds, he started to feel strange. _Why is everything so fuzzy?_ He wondered. He then passed out.

* * *

**Sometime Later**

* * *

_Where am I?_ He wondered as he peered around groggily. He realized he was in a dungeon. _Well, I guess that's what I get for falling for such a stupid trick..._

"Are you Dante?" a deep voice asked.

"So what if I am?" Dante replied.

"You have killed many of our brethren and for that, you must pay," Nericros said as he approached Dante. Dante was chained to the wall and couldn't do anything but glare at him.

"It's not my fault. You could have just left me alone, but you stupid creatures kept harassing me!" Dante said irritably.

"You will pay for your insolence, human! You will soon face a most terrible punishment," Nericros growled.

"So what's this 'terrible punishment' of yours?" Dante questioned.

"You will be killed in the most painful, horrific way imaginable!"

"I'm so scared," Dante replied sarcastically.

Nericros growled and turned his back to Dante. "Bring the prisoner to the execution platform!" he ordered the guards. As Nericros left, the guards walked over and unchained Dante. They then forcefully tied his hands behind his back and made him walk. He seemed completely at ease, which irritated the guards. One of them started to kick him, but he just laughed at their sorry attempts to hurt him.

"Is that the best you can do?" he taunted.

"You'll not be so cocky when your heads on a platter in Lord Nericros' chambers!" one of them growled. Dante just smirked. They led him outside to a large platform with seats all around for demons to watch the show.

"Have a good time," one of the guards taunted before shoving him out onto the platform. Nericros walked to the edge of the platform and stood before the crowd of bloodthirsty demons.

"Before you stands the worst enemy hell has faced since Sparda! This is fitting, since he is the son of Sparda. He will pay for his and his father's treachery!" Nericros roared. The crowd cheered. Suddenly, the cheers turned to gasps. Nericros turned around to see what they were reacting to and then he too gasped. Dante had activated his devil trigger and freed himself from his bonds.

"I would have thought you would have known about this ability of mine, but I guess no demons lived to tell anyone about it," Dante said with a smirk.

 _No! We can't let him escape!_ Nericros thought desperately.

Suddenly, Aseph ran onto the platform. "O great and powerful Dante hear my plea!" he said. Dante gave him a confused look. "We will tell you a way out of hell if you promise to leave us in peace!"

Dante looked at him skeptically. "Why would I believe you? It's probably another trap. I might not be completely in my right mind, but there's no way I'd fall for that!"

"Do you truly think that we would have time to prepare another trap? Besides, you have nothing left to lose. You can't live long in a world where everyone wants you dead," Aseph said.

"Well, you've got a point there," Dante muttered. _He's right, I don't have anything left to lose other than my life and what's the point of_ _living without pizza?_ He thought. "Okay, I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'll trust you."

"Thank you, O merciful one!" Aseph exclaimed.

 _Why can't I get praise like this from a girl?_ Dante wondered.

* * *

**Sometime Later**

* * *

_I can't believe it. It wasn't a trap!_ Dante thought joyfully. The demons had decided that Aseph's plan was their only hope, so they led Dante to a portal out of hell. He looked around in amazement; it had been so long since he had seen humans. They were much better company than demons even if they were annoying sometimes. He wondered if he should go for pizza first or check on the Devil May Cry. _I should get pizza first, before I go insane again_ he decided. He went to the pizza place and ordered an extra-large pizza. _Crap, I don't have any money. I'm already gonna be in debt again_ he thought with a sigh. After he finished the pizza, he went back to his shop. He was surprised by the state of it. The Devil May Cry was dust-free and cleaner than ever. _How can this_ _be?_ He wondered. He shrugged and then headed for the shower. _I probably smell horrible after not bathing for three years_ he thought. _I'll scare away all the girls._ After taking a nice, long shower he went straight to the couch and laid down. _I've haven't slept much in three years, after all, I hardly got a break from demons trying to kill me._ He slept for a long time and would have kept sleeping if he hadn't heard the door open. "What? Customers already? I just got back!" he whined.

"Dante? Is it really you?" he heard a woman whisper.

"Last time I checked I was Dante," he said with a grin. Lucia ran over and hugged him so hard he couldn't breathe. "Ow, get off, you're smothering me!" he gasped. She quickly let go.

"Oh, I'm so glad you're back! Trish told me you would come back so I've been running the business for you. I was beginning to lose hope!" she sobbed.

"I'm fine, so you can stop crying," he said as he sat up.

"I've got to tell Trish!" Lucia exclaimed.

"No! Err, I mean, maybe later," Dante blurted.

"I bet you're afraid she hasn't forgotten your debt to her. Well, you're right. Lady hasn't forgotten either," Lucia said with a grin.

"Aww man!" Dante whined.

"I interrupted your nap, didn't I? I'll let you get your rest. I'm sure you need it," she said. As Lucia left the shop, Dante laid back down on the couch.

 _I'm glad to be back too_ he thought with a smile as he went back to sleep.


End file.
